Know your enemy: Sime Sublime
Sime Subline was born to an easel and an Angelfire page. He robbed fifth graders throughout his school career and then continued on to college, where he majored in treachery, bombast, villainy, intrigue, exploitation and crochet.
Realizing that he could serve no possible purpose in society except as a knitting themed supervilain, the continent of Asia set him adrift on a penal boat named Australia, hoping that God would take mercy on him and give him a quick death, kind of like in Cabin Boy.
Anyhow, Slade found the floating fool and took him about his ship, The Ugly Duckling. This brought no end of catastrophe to us both, but we were determined to help this clearly insane derelict.
We took him in and Slade nursed him back to health with his own bosom. We tought him the holy ways of internet comedy, and inducted him into our party so that he might find some purpose in his clearly pointless and sad life.
Little did we know that in his heart still lurked the dark beast of treachery. Just as Slade and I were burgeoning on a breakthrough that would make our site, nay, the world, a better place, Sime struck. The conflict arose from ideological differences which needn't be discussed herein, for they are rather complicated and rooted in our dogma. Luckily, Sime is weak and foolish, and we both survived unharmed.
Sime then fled, possibly to the foul realms of Less Is More to form an alliance with Chyld. But even in Sime's evil there is perhaps some good example to be gleaned, an example of what not to look for, how not to conduct oneself. How not to.... smell.
Should you come face to face with this man, a villain of the first water, be advised that he is weak against fire, sunlight, stakes through the heart, and ice picks in the head. The sooner Sime is liquidated the sooner our utopia will come to pass.
